Mission: Brew Sculpture Protocol

Image via the movie: Mission Impossible

Friday the 13^th, the year is 2012  and the time is 6am.   The mission as I chose to accept it was to pick up the long anticipated new edition to our homebrew charity club, MoreBeer’s Flat Brew Sculpture from their Riverside showroom (a hasty effort to keep costs down).   

This is not just 3 huge stockpots on a stainless steel frame, nooooo, this is a new evolution in mankind.  The Charity Brewing Brew Sculpture consists of the essential apparati for advanced all grain beer cooking:

1) Hot Liquor Tank (HLT) – source of hot water

2) Mash Tun – mashing of milled grain

3) Boil Kettle - holds the wort (“pre-beer”) for hop/fruit/ herbal additions, etc..

4) S.M.A.R.T Full Digital – Step Mash Adjusted Recirculation Temperature

5) 26 Gallon Conical – fermentation chamber (aka “where the magic happens”)

So CALLING ALL CHARITY HOMEBREWERS: Start converting those extract recipes and further refining those all grain recipes to brew 2 0 ish Gallons of tasty brew on our new system!

That’s about as technical as I will get in the interest of the mission.   

Mission A:  Secure a Long Bed Truck

6:10am – Drive to Home Depot to rent a 3-ton Truck.  This did not work out because apparently they require you to be insured for a massive truck on your policy and do not offer their own form of insurance. 

7:00am – Thank you Enterprise Rent A Car, not just for that internship I had back in college but for having a Chevy Silverado Long Bed Pickup available for last minute rental. 

Mission B: Drive to the 909

12pm – After a long drive up from San Diego, we finally made it to the land of the dirt (Zip Code = 909).   One of my partners in brewing is a well-accomplished attorney and coincidentally had an appearance up in Fontana.  So I dropped her off at the court house and went to J&M Café, a ruby in the dust (*listen to Neil Young) to grab some lunch and work on a couple of my clients’ web design/seo projects.  

This is an excellent family-run restaurant that has gourmet grub and Negro Modelo (one of my favorite Mexican-style lagers).  Yes, there are times when even one of these mainstream imports can be more gratifying than a Pliny the Elder.

Mission C: Find MoreBeer’s Riverside Showroom and Load the Goods

3pm - Somewhere off the 10 freeway, tucked away in an industrial warehouse park lies the prized sculpture.  The map on the MoreBeer website is useless and after calling Rob a couple times for directions, I was still a bit clueless on the exact location. 

3:30pm – Finally arrive at the showroom which is a bit larger than the Best Damn Homebrew Shop. For those un-indoctorinated brewers, this is the front aisle of Junior Liquor Mart in downtown San Diego.  Damien (formerly of Pyramid Brewing) and Sid always take excellent care of us and not only have a comprehensive supply of beer cooking apparatus, but also are home to one of the best bottle selections in the nation.

4:00pm - Rob and the crew at MoreBeer help us load the goods into the Silverado

Celebrate MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

8pm --> ??pm – The evening party spot was Hess Brewing’s FAC (Friday Afternoon Club) sipping on the devilish Deceptio (Cascadian Dark Ale) and gorging on an exceptional Vegan Fried Chickun Quesadilla and BBQ “Steak” Burger with a side of Mac ‘n Cheeze and Jambalaya.  Southern Fried Vegan BBQ supplies delicious, healthy vegan grub all around San Diego and have a generous portion of their profits that go to charity.  Sounds right up our alley!

We still have to set the beast up and get some liquids flowing through the pipes.  

Thanks for reading and we’ll let you know how the first brew day goes!